Dick Whittington

It's been a while. I've been somewhere else.

But now I'm back, and the first thing I found was a pound coin in the tray of a fruit machine.

Somewhere near Victoria.

So I popped it into the machine, and nothing for 2 spins, followed by a £5 payout.

In tokens. I didn't think they were legal anymore.

So I put them back and gambled my way up to a tenner.

Had a cheeky pie and a pint.

Then lost the rest.

The wind is beginning to blow over the water again.

It's time to go back to basics.

All this wind has blown all sorts of interesting things onto the bridge.

Found a nut without a bolt today near EC3V.

Interesting places to look for loose paper (of the folding variety), will be 3 Barrels walk, something to do with a fruiterer, and anyone playing near the Globe.

Moves hands another minute towards midnight.

Tick tock.

The page is hinted.

Loads of coins on the streets suddenly.

Good places to look over the Christmas season are :

Waterloo Station.
Queen Victoria Street.

And of course, Grosvenor Street. All those shiny metal badges.

Found a goldfish on the pavement opposite Ivantyour Trump tower.

Mighty pretty price too.

Wind has dropped again.

Snow later according to the Experts.

Met a girl last night who was looking for the American Dream. Looks like it's been stolen / illegaly exported somewhere.

The common people want a dream to look into.

Young Paul can sing for his fish supper methinks.

My cat got an invite to er-indoors for tea the other day.

Peculiar thing was you could probably have picked up the invite on the street, it was nothing more than a piece of coloured paper, printed on one-side.

We nipped in the back entrance, showed our coloured paper to the quiet thug on the gate and popped in for tea.

On the way out, a steward said to the chappie in front of me,

'Commander Bond is it ? '

To which the trebly striped officer replied,

' No, but it is Commander James '.

And then you realise, just how much effective security was probably in place. This is British. Subtle, often self-deprecating understatement.

We don't need to gesture with flash bombs, bullets and bullies.

Not Britain.

It's great to be back on the case.

I found a load of old coppers in the gutter in a street market. I asked a fairly young copper if I should hand them in -- but he thought I was stupid.

Benjamin Franklin:
' A penny saved is a penny earnt '

Actually he was wrong -- as you have to pay 20-40% tax on your earnings, but you keep 100% of your earnt penny.

Maybe Gordon Brown would like (not) to have the following :

' A pound saved is as good as £1.66 earnt (if you pay 40% tax) '

or

' A pound saved is as good as £1.33 earnt (if you pay 20% tax) '

So when you see an old Copper, don't laugh.

I was travelling last week.

At LHW, as I was about to be scanned at security, I noticed 50p lying on the floor.

For a laugh, I kicked it through the metal detector arch.

It didn't set off the alarm -- much to the alarm of the security guards!

Didn't pay for my flight though.

The only free flights these days are to Camp X-Ray in Cuba.

No cigar.h

Funny, I'd never thought I'd end up busking on the underground.

I'd already picked up a couple of cheeky pennies early on, when I came across a charming girl who was tinkling the ivories on an electric piano. She was playing some fiendishly tricky Frederic Chopin (Polonaise).

Attempting to sharpen my chat-up skills, she foolishly allowed me to have a go, and I was able to attempt the simple chop-sticks (rather than Chopin) that we were banned from playing at school.

Needless to say, no money was forthcoming.

However, as I passed an empty busking point in Covent Garden, I did pick up a couple of silver coins (5p and 10p) that a former artist had overlooked.

I did find some wonderful antique silver in the Covent Garden Market, a map, emblazoned upon a fossil, a piece of one of Concordes's engines, and a small car.

It's amazing what you can find if you keep your eyes open.

It's amazing what you find on the streets.

I found (on Bond Street) a beautiful silver cufflink. Just one. So it's only valuable to the owner who lost it (get in touch, no questions asked!).

But such beauty. Deep black. Either Jet, or Obsidian. With ever so gentle vesicules running through it. Porphyritic perhaps.

Fit for the King of Chavs!

If no-one claims it, maybe I'll auction it off on ebay for charity.